WEDNESDAY AND PUGSLEY

   Is the full moon out or something? There’s some crazy shit goin on today and it ain’t even funny!

   So I’m walking back home from the store and I get right in front of my apartment and I hear this kid’s voice.

   “Excuse me, sir”

   Real proper like. And I turn around and there’s two kids standing there. A boy and a girl, probably around 8 years old. Look like they could be brother and sister. They ask me if I could let them in to use the phone to call their father to come for them. Literally that’s how they said it, “We would like to call our father to come for us”

   Does that sound weird to anyone? Well it doesn’t end there. I’m looking at these kids and I’m getting this total weird vibe off of them, like total “spider sense tingling” sort of thing. They are both so pale they’re almost gray and they look like they’re drugged out or something - you expect to see that look on a junkie, but not a pair of 8 year olds!

   So I tell them to go to the front office so they can call from there and there’ll be someone to wait with them until their dad shows up. The boy then tells me that there was no one in the office.

   By now I’ve got like fire alarms going off in my head. There’s ALWAYS someone in the front office. These weird, creepy little bastards are lying to me. So I tell them I’m in a hurry and to go to the office. Then they start pressing the matter.

   “Let us in so we can call our father to come for us.” “You do want him to come for us, don’t you?” “Let us in and he will come for us”

   Now I’ve had enough of this, so I tell them one more time to go to the front office and I turn and start heading up the front steps. Then I hear them coming up behind me. I turn around and they’re like RIGHT THERE. So I tell them to get out of here before I call security, Then the GIRL pipes up saying:

   “There’s nothing to be afraid of, sir. We won’t harm you.”

   And the boy goes “We CAN’T hurt you, we’re only children.” and then they both start saying “let us in” like it’s some kind of chant.

   Now this is already creepy, but this is where I finally put on the brakes. First off, What 8 year old kid says things like “There’s nothing to be afraid of, we won’t harm you” and “We’re only children”????? Secondly, yeah. They ARE children, and I have absolutely no reason to be afraid of either of them, yet I’m getting this hardcore vibe like hurting me is exactly what they intend to do. So I finally yell at them, and I have no idea why I worded it exactly like this:

   “You’re not invited in! Get out of here! Now!”

   And they both stop cold. I open the door to my apartment and go in, but as I’m slamming the door I hear one last thing from them:

   “He will come for us” “He IS coming”

   I swear that’s the fucking creepiest thing I’ve ever experienced. What’s worse is I sat there for a half an hour listening to hear them walking back down the steps, cuz if you’ve ever lived in an apartment complex you know those cheap steps outside are loud as Hell… nothing… I never hear them leave. It starts getting close to 40 minutes going by and I haven’t even put my groceries away yet and I’m standing at the door certain that if I look out the peep hole I’ll see Wednesday and Pugsley standing there staring back at me.

   So Finally I’m like fuck it and I throw open the door to tell them that I’m calling the cops.

   Nothing. Gone.

   But not forgotten. Those two little assholes tagged up my door with a magic marker. A great big circle with an “X” through it… Some sort of kindergarten gang tag?

   Whatever. I’m creeped out now.